when you're gone

And in the day, everything's complex
There's nothing simple, when I'm not around you

But, I miss you when you're gone
That is what I do....
And it's going to carry on,
That is what I knew...

I woke up today not remembering any dreams I had. Or if I ever did, they were lost the next waking second. I miss you. It was like a vacuum that suddenly sucked everything about you into my mind the moment I woke. Everything that was my fantasy, everything that might have brought wild visions in my brain during my sleep was vanquished by the mere thought of missing you. I long to hold you in the morning, to feel you skin against mine. I long to see your eyes still closed as I open mine. Or see you staring at me, watching me, as I open my eyes. These sheets are alien to me now that you’re not in them. This room feels like a cold cavern that I cannot fill. Not without you.

Hold on to my hands, I feel I'm sinking
Sinking without you
And to my mind, everything's stinking
Stinking without you

I woke up today to Dolores O’Riordan wailing about missing you. She hit the words right. I never thought I could sway to their music other than heavy head bopping. Now my heart rides the waves of thoughts that this person has brought. And I am riding tough like a surfer against a very big wave. I miss you.

And in the night, I could be helpless
I could be lonely, sleeping without you
And in the day everything's complex

Tonight I shall go to sleep feeling the same thing. Perhaps I had conquered another day. Perhaps I had accomplished a lot of significant things. Perhaps I did a good job. But all of that does not buy your presence. All of that doesn’t bring you back. All I can do is wait. And little by little, be consumed by this intensely growing sentiment of being incomplete without you.

There's nothing simple, when I'm not around you
Hold on to love, that is what I do

But, I miss you when you're gone
That is what I do....
And it's going to carry on,
That is what I knew...