Thursday, December 29, 2005

alcoholism

It’s an old adage that explains alcohol is the best disinhibitor. Drinking several bottles of liquor that’s at least six per cent alcohol by volume loosens the tongue. That’s scary. It reminds me of the tortures ignorant people used to do in the medieval times, where they do all sorts of things just to make one talk, never mind if it’s the truth or not. Nowadays, bars are filled with poisonous smoke from different branded cigarettes and poisonous words from different drunken tongues. Loud noises, seething through one’s ears as though the lies are meant for one.

It is in this same pretext that I find some people unworthy of ever imbibing alcohol. Sure they’re fun to be with when in a drinking spree, cracking jokes, laughing for the slightest reasons, even making up instant comedies. They are the best of friends. But when I listen intently, there’s nothing in words they utter. No substance holds their thoughts coursed through their tongue. And oftentimes, their words lose their meaning come morning. And the whole denial stage is being performed again. Half of what was said was because of the alcohol. The other half was because of the night, and the smoke.

In moderation, alcohol can be your ally, letting favorable words slip easily from your mouth, or even through the written word. Many wonderful love letters were written under the faithful guidance of alcohol, when the heart is not hindered by hesitations of the mind. Many emotions were made known by the removal of the inhibitions brought about by fear, anxiety and uncertainties of the logical mind. All in all, alcohol consumption should be limited to such an amount as when the mouth still speaks what the mind wants.

In contrast, excessive consumption of alcohol causes delirium. People speak of imaginations, of fantasies, of self-gratification, of wants and desires, of things that have yet to come to past, and of things that never will. Some would travel great lengths to improve self-grandeur, others would simply magnify self-worth. Still others would intrude to where others are and conjure words that’ll pull them down from their clouds. This is how fights and brawls start. Worse, this is also how friendships are broken, hearts are scarred, and the possibility of eternal love shattered. Alcohol now induces lies. The truth gets buried in a pile of bullshit make-believes.

I cannot fathom what you want to say anymore, because I cannot hear your own voice. Sometimes, even when you’re not drunk, I still do not know who is talking. Is it you? Or is it the alcohol?

You ran away from me now. I can never believe you again.