Sunday, November 04, 2012

...union... (May 16, 2005)

In her mind raced thoughts of him as she stepped off the car. It had been three months now since she last heard of him. And now was the day they both feared would come, but eventually looked forward to. This was the day they promised each other to meet again, to take that one last chance, because tomorrow is goodbye.

She fidgeted and hesitated a bit before entering that small surfing resort up north. She had braved the five-hour journey just so she could be at the right place at the right time. And indeed she was, she remembered the place. But as composure returned to her, she could not remember the face of the name she had come to say goodbye to. Her heart knew better, and it sensed his nearness. With eyes beaming with hope and an ardent uncertainty she searched the crowd now gathered to look back at her.

Then he was there.

He waved at her, and solicited a deep sigh of relief from her. She offered him a smile, of which he indescribably returned. A few steps and they were again within arms away from each other. Her face radiated the joy she felt just being with him again. She had loved him, indeed. But not anymore, or so at least she thought. And this thought was something she had three months to convince herself was real. She had promised herself the night before that it was indeed goodbye. She came there for a purpose, and she wasn’t about to sway from that purpose. She had come to say goodbye.

But he was so near. She could smell him, and her arms yearned to reach out and wrap him again. Her lips certainly missed his, and she wondered what the price would be for another taste of his kiss. He was exactly the man she remembered him to be, the same masculinity that again made her heart thump wild. While saying her pleasantries, she looked at every part of him but his eyes. She knew that if she did, then she could never do what she came here to do.

He too was there for the same reason, but without that which held her back. And as she wrapped her arms around him for one last time, she knew. Three months had changed a lot. He was different now, as was she. Only, she wanted more convincing of the truth, he already felt the truth. Her hopes of rekindling their love went unreciprocated.

Her embrace tightened as she whispered her last few breaths into his ears. The word goodbye flew swiftly, and she held back the tears bidding to fall. She dare not let them. She had coerced herself to be tough. She had psyched herself for this. This is only goodbye, nothing more. There will be no regrets, she said. And she turned around. With head held up high, she walked away from him.

In her mind raced thoughts of him as she went into the car. It’s another five-hour journey home. There’s plenty of time for the tears to fall.

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